The things that make me go "HUH!?"
As promised, this post will be talking about what had happened the past couple of weeks that makes me go “HUH!?” For those who are a new believer in Christ, I suggest you click on “NEXT BLOG” button at the top right side of the page now.
It all started after the re-shuffling of the CGs and I was transferred to a totally stranger group. My heart was full of enthusiasm as I couldn’t wait to meet my new Bro/Sis in Christ, but my mind knew that there would be a period of transition, and I was unsure how long this period would last. All I could do was to pray… and true enough I was left all ALONE praying to God everyday!
Here’s the list that I had been through over the past weeks:
1. As the saying goes, “… but teach a man how to fish and he can fish for life…” I was left all alone to “fish” in a totally new environment.
2. I lost my spiritual leaders in Joel and Karen and was allocated a new shepherd, who dun know me, my past, my present, my work, my life & my dreams.
3. I went into a new CG who dun knows me, my past, my present, my work, my life & my dreams.
4. For many weeks, I attended Sun services and Fri CG alone and went home alone.
5. For many weeks, I operated alone as my new shepherd was busy; in fact as I am writing now, we have not met for shepherding yet…
6. I was left with “self growth” and Satan was smiling at me everyday, telling me that the world is beautiful.
7. I started to blog in order to release part of my stress into Internet.
8. I saw one of my Bro M’s blog (U know who… haha), and saw the “other” side of him.
9. As I am in advertising… my life was embraced with temptations, desires & sins…
10. My mind was constantly been attacked & my soul was draining… as I tried hard to stand firm in Christ… alone.
11. Words of God had to be interpreted by my own understanding as I found no one sharing and to confide in…
12. I looked at my previous CG where people were enjoying each other’s company each week, and each week I was left pondering who would be my next “buddy” in Christ.
13. I saw matured Christians sharing jokes more than sharing Christ…
14. I saw matured Christians looking drained.
15. I saw matured Christians not behaving like one.
16. I saw matured Christian with less convictions and passion.
17. Outreach outings went “nowhere” as people were more concerned about themselves.
18. I felt church system sux, as I became the “victim of system” as I was trapped into a “lonely spiritual world”.
19. I tried to get near people from other CG, and was given a “Why aren’t you with your CG?” stares…
20. I started small chats with people and ended with short chats.
Ok, ok… 20 pointers are more than enough to make you say “HUH!?” right? Before everyone start panicking over me, dun worry. Like I said, everything had been sorted out now…
Everything in life happened for a reason, and God has it all planned out. Like I said in my previous post, "God is using your circumstances to position and prepare you to accomplish His vision for your life."
For those who were going through any one of the above or all the above, please do not hesitate to contact me for a chat. My heart is convicted to write this post so that you know you are not alone in Christ.
Do not worry, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:39 Await the day our Lord reveals all the answers to your doubts…
Amen.
posted by Jon Tan @ 5/27/2005 12:07:00 AM
2 Comments:
been through many of the struggles u'v been through and r still going through many of them myself (very apparent right? haha)
oh on point 8, haha my blog isn't meant to stumble. it's meant to dispell any illusions of me..
points 13,14,15,16 have caused (get this) many leaders to stumble in the past. it's perhaps scary for us "matured" christians to have a "young" believer look at us as roll models. i think it puts a lot of pressure on the "matured" party to behave in an "appropriate" manner. more oft then none, the person ends up lying to himself more than to the young believer.
when i took the reigns of the youth service in my church back home, i told my leaders that i am human and that i will bleed. i will make mistakes and behave inappropriately. never take me as a roll model and don't look to me as a matured christian. instead, take what you see is good in me and continue looking to Jesus.
even peter, one of christianity's greatest leaders, decided to be crucified upside down due to the shame and guilt he bore from denying Jesus.
it helps to remember that even Christians are human. we're all still learning how to grow and walk in the path of God. in that sense, none of us will ever be mature and all of us will always be young believers.
as for myself, to people who keep pointing me out and saying "Mervyn this, Mervyn that", i may seem to behave contradictory to what they say but really, they're just speaking in contradiction to who i really am:
a bleeding Christian on my knees ever needing help from a greater Power just like most of everyone else of us
hi merv, dun worry mate, u r doing fine... great worship last Fri. contd to grow men... ur elder bro needs u to be his armour bearer!
claire, yeah u got it right there... perhaps 1 solution is for u to company me? then we can have good chats in the future? heee =)
PS: sometimes its also good to be at the other side of the world (the quiet side) as u can experience a different side of urself... heh not confusing right? haha...
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